Author: Mulcahy, Lisa
Date published: February 1, 2010
Journal code: GRLF
There's a hottie at schooi who you've been vibing with for weeks. And though ali signs say he's into you, you've yet to seal your status as GF/BF. So, do you step it up and spiil your guts-or wait for him to make the first move? Here's how to approach the issue so that you and your guy are finally seeing eye-to-eye.
SEE WHERE YOU STAND
You flirt all the time, text 'til the wee hours and laugh like crazy whenever he's around. Only prob? You've been waiting for weeks for him to say how he really feels about you, but so far, nothin'. To figure out where your relationship's going, your first move is to chill, step back and take a close look at your guy. And nope, this doesn't mean staring into his gorge green eyes for hours.
Instead, ask yourself if he's already treating you like his GF. Things like calling when he says he will, spending tons of time helping you with killer chem homework and surprising you with your fave mocha latte are all good signs that this could be the real deal. But if he tends to put his buds before you, is sketchy about plans or always hits ya up for hangs at the last second, he's probably just not cool with commitment.
Confident he's keeper material? Next move is to give him some time. Sure, you were ready to slap a BF label on this boy the second you met him. But guys generally need more time when it comes to expressing their emotions. He may be nervous, waiting for the perfect moment, or just completely clueless that he has to say something in the first place.
Give him some space and see if he strikes up the couple-or-not convo on his own. But don't let him lag for long. Set a deadline in your mind - like a week or two - before you reassess the sitch and figure out whether he's worth it. You may not want to ruin this good thing by bringing up serious stuff, but you def don't want to be wasting your precious minutes, either.
If you're not sure about him - but not ready or willing to say adios yet, either - give him one last chance to come to his senses. Busy yourself with play practice, volunteer up a storm or offer to babysit your little bro after school. Wait a day or so before replying to his e-mails, cut back on the late night texts and stall a bit before making plans with him.
May seem strange, but creating a little distance between you two just might act as the slap in the face your fella needs to wake up and make things official already. Because here's the thing about most boys: when you appear less available, they like you - and want to be with you - evenmore. Weird but true.
MAKE A MOVE
If you're pretty positive he's way into you but he still hasn't said a thing, then collect your courage and confiront this cutie. You don't have to ask him outright whether he likes you-likes you or not. Something simple like, "We're more than friends, right?" will work Just be sure to 'fess those feelings face-to-face (instead of texting or IMing) so there aren't any mixed messages.
And no matter how you deliver your message, know that you are doing yourself a huge favor by ending this guessing game. Even if he doesn't react exactly the way you envisioned, at least you'll have the answer you've been aching for - and you don't have to spend any more of your time wondering where things with you two are heading.
If you read the signs right, chances are, he'll be super relieved you finally put it all out there, and he can answer you with those magical words you've been waiting to hear. And then you can stop sweatin' your status and start planning out that perf V-Day date!