TRUCKASAURAS: HALFINCH TAPE AND DILDOS

The center table/core of jacked-up Seattle "sex-tech" electro-sutra band Truckasauras is a ganglion cluster of nerves. As ganglia go, what you have here is a tangle of Korg synth, drum machine, analog processing cells and cords that put out frighteningly huge beats, low end, and cathode-based frenetics. The Truckasauras table is a double complete rainbow of gear. Truckasauras are a band that understands the triptych importance of product placement, megaconsumerism, and adult-American tendencies. That is why they are coming out with a line of Bluetooth dildos. They also now possess their very own half-inch four-track reel-to-reel machine, which means their shit just got real real. Ryan Trudell and Adam Swan sat deeply in leather lounge chairs and bequeathed markettested knowledge.

Please describe the Bluetooth Truckasauras Dildo.

RT: It's summer fun. The dildo has a processor that syncs with Bluetooth to Babel Fish language-translation technology to translate voice commands into any language you want. If you want a French orgasm, just fl ip the setting to "French." It vibrates and you can hear our music. There's the classic koi fi sh model and the Mel Gibson, which we think is just Yoda that they call Mel Gibson because he's trending. For us, the Bluetooth Truckasauras Dildo is really an outreach program. You know, to get our music out there. The Japanese setting was the most popular in the market testing. There will be more models out sometime next year. One's a bumblebee, and one is supposed to look like Lady Gaga, but it pretty much looks like Yoda, too.

Truckasauras recently came upon another toy as well, correct?

AS: We are now the proud owners of an Otari MTR-10 half-inch four-track reel-toreel machine. It is big pimpin'. Like Jay-Z on a boat. It's a bit of a one-trick pony in that it only records, but it sounds amazing. Not to start up the debate on analog versus digital-they both have their perks and limitations-but you really can't beat the warmth and grittiness of analog gear. Plus, you pretty much have to nail your takes, which is something I think music has lost since the invention of programs like ProTools. Remember when pop stars had talent? A lot of albums have been made on four and eight tracks. I mean, George Martin did Sgt. Pepper's on one. I have done all of our projects so far on my trusty Tascam, but the Otari is a step up from that...