The rest of the month's releases, from Ava Gardner to Jessica Simpson

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14 BLADES

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To Ming-era Chins, and Daniel Lee's moody enorme epic. Donnie Yen's doublecrossed spy fights back from exile with an awesome box of Swiss Army swords. High romance and fantastical combat follows. Best of luckwiththespeedreadsubtitles.

EXTRAS 'Making of.

FILM *** EXTRAS **

2001 MANIACS: FIELD OF SCREAMS

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Robert England couldn't be arsed to turn up for this cheerfully sadistic splatter sequel, and who can blame him? Novelty deaths + crap jokes + gratuitous hooters = run away!

EXTRAS Commentary, Behind The Screams, slide show and trailer.

FILM ** EXTRAS **

THE 7TH DIMENSION

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Students hack into the Vatican, decode the Bible and unleash an unholy torrent of bollocks acting. Be afraid: it's The Da Vinci Code on a Kwik Save budget. Anyone traumatised by Jonathan Rhodes' lisping ham can phone our helpline on page 758.

EXTRAS 'Making of'.

FILM * EXTRAS **

ANIMALS

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Swishy-swooshy editing can't rescue this erotic horror about shapeshifty werethings. For erotic, see arses heaving on kitchen worktops; for horror, werewolves made out of smoke rings. Stili, winner of EndCredit Name Of The Month: Holly Lumpkin.

EXTRAS None.

FILM *

THE BLACKOUT

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Reminiscent of '80s dag classic The Deadly Spawn after a fun-ectomy, this cheapie has sub-Alien blokes-in-suits rising from an LA basement -then throws an earthquake on top for double-dip disasterness. Aims high then falls down the lift shaft.

EXTRAS Trailer.

FILM **

BLONDE AMBITION

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Jessica Simpson smiles nicely as an airhead secretary who gets caught up in a corporate takeover. It's Legally Blonde, and a cheap peroxide at that. As for a pained Luke Wilson, he doesn't so much look like he got cast as kidnapped.

EXTRAS None.

FILM **

A BOY CALLED DAD

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A tear-away teenager kidnaps his baby and leaves a devastating trail in this Brit drama that's part Bresson, part Loach. The tinkly score doesn't fit the social realism, but it's poignant and has lan Hart on top form.

EXTRAS Deleted scenes, 'making of, commentary.

FILM *** EXTRAS ***

CASANOVA '7O

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King of EUIO crumpet Mario Monicelli tried to break America with this light sex farce featuring Marcello Mastroianni as an army playboy who can only get it up when he's In danger. Fitfully amusing kitsch, but there's more harpsichord jazz than should be legal.

EXTRAS None.

FILM **

FAT BELLY

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Aussie ex-con 'Chopper' Read "tells it how it is" in a biodoc-come-spout-off that gets its kicks from tales of broomsticking (don't Google it). Hard to say what's worse: the Crlmewatch-quality reconstructions or the nasty odour of antihero-worship.

EXTRAS None.

FILM **

GOEMON

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Kazuaki Kiriya's sugar-rush CG saga the legenoary ninja outlaw as (uhh?] 16th century sci-fi - it's Baz Luhrmann's Final Fantasy! Lit like a lighthouse made of Skittles, the tacknicolour takes some adjustment but cultdom awaits.

EXTRAS Two 'making of's. interview.

FILM *** EXTRAS **

THE HAUNTING OF MARSTEN MANOR

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Trouble sleeping? Ask your GP to prescribe this nonentity. Struggling to be heard above an ear-drilling Casio score, a blind woman inherits a house haunted by (WTF?!) C. Thomas Howell. Chronic.

EXTRAS None.

FILM *

UNTER PREY

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Rival aliens face off on a parched planet in the feature debut from Sandy Collora, who caused fanboy trouser-explosions with YouTube phenom Batman: Dead End. Stealthy, stylish and involving, it feels like a lost Star Wars episode on a tlnpot budget.

EXTRAS 'Making of and commentary.

FILM *** EXTRAS **

INVISIBLETARGET

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Jaycee 'son of Jackie' Chan stars in a smash-everythlng cop-fu epic so old school it's even fitted with slo-mo stunt replays. Heat-lite plot, but when it blends martial arts with moving traffic, it's blistering.

EXTRAS Storyboards, stunt docs and deleted scenes.

FIlM *** EXTRAS ****

THE ISLAND

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You can almost feel the Siberian wind blowing out your plasma in this Russian drama about a mad monk seeking absolution from a crippling past sin. Paced like a glacier, the hypnotic visuals make it bizarrely compelling.

EXTRAS Trailer.

FILM ***

PARANOIAC

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Great to finally see this creep out of the vaults - Hammer's answer to Psycho, starring a petulant Oliver Reed as a (casting alert!) mad alcoholic playboy bullying his sister out of the family loot. Corkscrewed with mad twists, hook-wielding choirboys and Gothic visuals, there's never a dull moment.

EXTRAS Blu-ray comes with hi-def gallery.

Film *** EXTRAS* *

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LOLA

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The French New Wave had a rogue romantic in Jacques Demy, and his luminous debut - featuring a celebrated fairground montage of breathless cinematic beauty - is easily the movement's most lovable movie. Orbiting around the lovelife of Anouk Aimée's burlesque dancer, It's so full of va-voom it feels like a musical without the music. Stunning.

EXTRAS None.

FILM ****

MEAT GRINDER

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Not to be attempted on a full stomach, this Thai-flavoured torture prawn captures every graphic chop of a female chefs cannibalistic kìtl-spree. Relentless splashy FX, classy visuals, bizarre romance... It's splatter, it's arthouse, it's... er, spiarthouse?

EXTRAS 'Making of.

FILM *** EXTRAS **

MORRIS: A LIFE WITH BELLS ON

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A maverick Morris dancer goes Riverdance and infuriates his peers in this mild and crazy Britcom. The style's too mannered and scripted to convince as a mock-doc, but it just about charms its way out.

EXTRAS Trailer and stills gallery.

FILM ** EXTRAS **

THE MOTHER OF INVENTION

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Terrific find, this - a mock-doc following a deluded nerd's attempts to win an Eddy inventor's award; unlikely given every gadget's a tragedy (knife hats! laser bears! stilts on wheels!). Fearlessly funny stuff.

EXTRAS Commentary, deleted scenes.

FILM *** EXTRAS **

PANDORA AND THE FLYING DUTCHMAN

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The return of a lost classic - Ava Gardner gets lured into a tragic affair with James Mason's cursed sailor while both are gulped up in lush visuals. Scorsese compares it to being sucked into a dream: he's spot on.

EXTRAS Galleries, plus short.

FILM **** EXTRAS ***

SAINT JOHN OF LAS VEGAS

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Steve Buscemi, looking like a half-grilled Eivis waxwork, slums it in the kind of US indie comedy last seen alive in 1996. Great cast (Sarah Silverman, Tim Blake Nelson), try-hard quirkiness, bit of a bore.

EXTRAS None.

FILM **

SHANK

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Mo Ali's futuristic London gang flick fancies itself as a grime remix of A Clockwork Orange, but the vision's about as dystopian as the toilet queue at an N-Dubz gig. Nice itchy visuals, iffy execution.

EXTRAS None.

FILM **

SPARKLE

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Get past that offputtingly upbeat title, and the reward is a character comedy as English as a pub quiz. The plot follows the messy affairs of Shaun Evans' rake, while a top ensemble includes Stockard Channing and Bob Oskins. Light and rather lovely.

EXTRAS 'Making of, cast interviews

FILM *** EXTRAS **

THE STRANGER

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'Stone Cold' Steve Austin vs. lukewarm action stodge... and everyone's a loser. Austin's the amnesiac agent chased by a bent FBI - and only trashy flashbacks stand in his way. Think The Bourne Identity remade by a struggling Texan cable channel.

EXTRAS Five-minute 'making of.

FILM ** EXTRAS *

WHILE THE CITY SLEEPS

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Power games in a New York newsroom impact on the hunt for a serial killer in Fritz Lang's hard-nosed melodrama. The cast is vintage, but it lacks the vital cynical snap of, say, Sweet Smell Of Success

EXTRAS None.

FILM ***