A sampling of poetry composed by the fabulous feline Whiskers, as translated by her beloved keeper and spirit-human, Lynda Miston

Welcome Back

I hope you had fun

Moving your mom

Into that group home.

Your house-sitting friend

Treated me well

When he wasn't masturbating

To computer porn

At your kitchen table.

I thought you should know.

Sad Facts

I will most likely die before you.

My feet always retain a smattering of

fecal matter.

Fancy Feast is neither.

Keep Passing the Electrifi ed Fences

Rain all day

Mud in my fur

And you won't take

Katy Perry off repeat.

But then you drop

A piece of sharp cheddar

On the floor.

After I eat it

I lick my privates.

It gets better.