Curses, Foiled Again

When a man walked into a bank in Watsonville, Calif., announced he had a bomb and demanded $2,000 to pay his friend's rent, the manager advised him to apply for a loan instead. She asked him to sit and wait while she went to get the loan paperwork but called police, who arrested Mark Smith, 59. (Santa Cruz Sentinel)

Seattle police identified Larry Shawn Taylor, 18, as the man who robbed two women at gunpoint, after the victims described the robber as a short black man with deformed ears who had "MOB" shaved into one side of his hair and "GET MONEY" on the other and "GET" tattooed on his right hand and "MONEY" on his left. Detectives used their database to match the tattoos to Taylor, who was apprehended after an officer stopped a car for reckless driving and recognized him by his ears and tattoos. (KOMO News)

Sound of Green

Frito-Lay announced it was dumping biodegradable bags for five of its six varieties of Sun Chips snacks and returning to the original plastic packaging because consumers complained the compostable bags were too noisy. (Associated Press)

At least a dozen of the 250 new wind farms opened in the United States in the past two years have generated significant noise complaints. In almost all cases, the complaints are directed against the noise of the turbines' steel blades, which are more than 100 feet long. Similar complaints are being made in Canada and Britain, and in Rennes, France, an appeals court recently ordered an eight-turbine wind farm to shut down between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m. so residents could get some sleep. (The New York Times)

When Guns Are Outlawawed

When a masked man walked into a gas station in Cave Junction, Ore., and demanded cash, clerk Dan McLeod, 75, said the robber threatened to kill him, then pulled out 6-inch wrench - "a dinky little thing," McLeod said. He responded by grabbing a broomstick handle and hitting the man several times, sending him away empty handed. (The Oregonian)

Home-Invasion ScScenarios

When two armed men kicked in the front door of his home in Tulsa, Okla., and demanded money, Larry Ryan, 59, immediately grabbed for one of the weapons. During the ensuing struggle, the gun fired, shooting off two of the robber's fingers. The other robber and a third man, who was driving the getaway vehicle, fled while Ryan held Bobby Lewis, 23, until police arrived. (Tulsa World)

An unidentified woman reported that two armed men broke into her home in St. Peters burg, Fla., and, after an unsuccessful search for cooking oil, forced her to melt butter, which one of the robbers rubbed on her chest while the other one searched the house for money. Authorities said they don't believe the incident had any sexual overtones. (St. Petersburg Times)

Role Models of the Week

Col. Russell Williams, 47, the former commander of Canada's largest air force base who served as the pilot for Britain's Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip during their 2005 visit, pleaded guilty to the murder of two women, two sexual assaults, two charges of unlawful confinement and 82 counts of breaking and entering, which involved the theft of women's panties. The Ottawa Citizen reported that authorities seized 500 women's undergarments found at Williams's Ottawa townhouse. "He's just a very twisted individual, there's no two ways about it," said retired Lt. Gen. Angus Watt, who once promoted Williams. "He was able to lead an elaborate double life and was able to keep it successfully concealed." (Associated Press)

Isaac H. Stoltzfus, 58, a district judge from Intercourse, Pa., was charged with disorderly conduct for hiding condoms inside acorns and handing them out to unsuspecting women at the state Capitol. (Associated Press)

Way to Go

British police reported that the body of Jimi Heselden, 62, the millionaire businessman whose firm makes Segway self-balancing electric scooters, was found at the bottom of a cliff in West Yorkshire. One of the two-wheeled scooters was found near the body. (Reuters)

High school athlete Justin Butler, 16, died after becoming entangled in a Bowflex exercise machine at his home in Grass Valley, Calif. Investigators ruled out suicide and called the death "a very tragic accident." (Sacramento's KOVR-TV)

Too Close to Ground Zero For Comfort

Town officials in Sidney, N.Y., said they would seek a court order to force a local Muslim group to dig up a 650-square-foot cemetery on its property and never bury anyone there again. Although neither state nor local laws cover cemeteries on private land, Bob McCarthy, supervisor of the upstate town, population 5,993, insisted the cemetery is illegal. He admitted, however, "I don't know what the exact law is." (The Huffington Post)

Second-Amendment Follies

When a 31-year-old man spotted a skunk at a friend's house, he grabbed a .22-caliber rifle, placed the butt end on the ground and started to load it. He didn't know there was already a round in the chamber, according to sheriff's officials in Manatee County, Fla., and when he accidentally hit the trigger, the round fired, going through the fingers on his right hand and through his left cheek. (Bradenton Herald)

Insuring Profit

The Department of Veterans Affairs agreed in 2009 to let Prudential Financial withhold lump-sum payments of life insurance benefits owed to survivors of service members. The amended contract sanctioned the previously unauthorized practice, which Prudential had carried out since 1999. Prudential's original contract, covering 6 million active service members, requires it to send lump-sum payments to survivors who request them. Instead, the insurer sends survivors checkbooks tied to accounts not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. Meanwhile, it invests the money - $662 million as of June 30 - in its general corporate account, earning 4.2 percent interest in 2009 while paying survivors 0.5 percent. (Bloomberg News)

Anticipapating Roseanne Barr's Arrival

Tired of performers jazzing up the national anthem, lawmakers in the Philippines voted to ban improperly singing "Lupang Hinirang" ("Our Beloved Land"). Violators face up to two years in jail and a 100,000 peso fine ($2,280). "Our Congress has given more teeth to government's campaign to invigorate patriotism, respect and love of country by singing our anthem properly," said Rep. Salvador Escudero, the measure's principal author. (Reuters)

Two-Time Loser

Canadian terrorism suspect Khurram Syed Sher, 28, who was arrested last summer in connection with a plot to bomb targets in Canada and abroad, was a contestant on the reality show Canadian Idol. Sher, who auditioned in 2008, sang a comical version of Avril Lavigne's "Complicated," complete with dance moves that include a moonwalk. Neither his singing nor his dancing impressed the judges, one of whom asked, "Have you ever thought of being a comedian?" (Associated Press and MSNBC)

Don't Believe Everything You Know

Police responding to a domestic violence call in Cheyenne, Wyo., with their Tasers drawn found homeowner Brian Mattert, 34, hastily covering himself with white latex paint. "You see all this water-based paint? You shoot me with that and you'll kill me," Mattert explained. The two officers informed him the paint wouldn't affect the Taser, then, when he became defiant, shot him twice with their stun guns before leading him off in handcuffs. (Wyoming Tribune Eagle)

Not So Innocent

After Roberto Paniagua, 40, picked up the wrong kindergarten pupil at the end of the school day, Dallas police said the incident occurred because of a "lapse of judgment" by someone in the school and declared that Paniagua had done nothing wrong. Police arrested him anyway on "minor unrelated warrants." (The Dallas Morning News)

Tongue Tied

A California plastic surgeon has developed a weight-reduction procedure that involves surgically applying a tongue patch cut from surgical mesh to reduce food intake. "This patch contains no drugs or chemicals," Dr. Nikolas Chugay said. "It simply makes chewing solid food very difficult and painful, relegating the patient to a physician-supervised liquid diet." Chugay said the tongue patch can be applied in less than an hour and is easily removed once the target weight is reached. (Los Angeles Times)

Irony IsIs Sweet

The American Postal Workers Union announced it was extending its internal election after "a large number of union members had not received their ballots" by the deadline because they got lost in the mail. (Fox News)

Reasonable Explanation

Sheriff's deputies who stopped Raymond Stanley Roberts, 25, for speeding in Manatee County, Fla., smelled marijuana coming from the car and searched Roberts. When Deputy Sean Cappiello felt a soft object in his buttocks, Roberts said, "Let me get it," and pulled out a clear plastic bag of marijuana weighing 4.5 grams. Roberts denied possessing any other drugs, but Cappiello felt another soft object in the same area and pulled out a bag with 27 pieces of rock cocaine weighing 3.5 grams. When the bag fell to the ground, the deputies said Roberts declared, "The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is." He explained that a friend who borrowed the car earlier must have left the cocaine on the passenger seat, and Roberts hid it when he was stopped. (Bradenton Herald)

News and Blues is compiled from the nation's press. To contribute, submit original clippings, citing date and source, to Roland Sweet in care of The New Times.