Date published: May 4, 2011
Journal code: STRR
To submit an unsigned confession or accusation, go to forums.thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty. One submission will be published in the paper every week, but all submissions to I, Anonymous can be found at thestranger.com.
MAY I FORGET YOUR ORDER?
You may think it looks cool or seems really sophisticated to listen to my dining order without writing anything down, but it is actually just plain stupid. Oh, what a big surprise it is when my order comes and you've gotten it wrong. I make you take it back because I ordered the one thing on the menu that I wanted to eat. No one expects you to have a mastermind brain that can hold fi ve or more separate pieces of new information at a time. You are bound to get my order and many other orders wrong. Drink, appetizer, salad, main dish, multiplied by however many people are at the table. Oh, and hold the sauce and the mushrooms. And another thing, it is not appetizing to have your meal handed to you by a skeleton who doesn't appear to eat. Please: Grab a paper and pen, eat a sandwich, and leave your brainpower to something greater!