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Publication: The Stranger
Author: West, Lindy
Date published: August 17, 2011


Okay, so the plot of Smurfs is that these pointless blue things live in a mushroom village in a magical land (or "The Middle Ages" if you're whatever stupid person edited the Smurf Wikipedia page) where they get all hopped up on magic berries and dance jigs for 20 hours a day, and are eternally being chased by a bald guy in a dress named Gargamel (Hank Azaria) who wants to "extract" their "essence" (I WILL GIVE YOU $500 IF YOU CAN PROVE THAT ISN'T A WEIRD SEXUAL THING). But, apparently, once in a "blue moon" (not a thing), a watery butt-tunnel opens up to New York City. So of COURSE the stupid Smurfs (plus Gargamel) fall through the magic hole and have to go live with Neil Patrick Harris and learn/teach a few lessons about the importance of family and believing in yourself and gardening and whatever. (LINDY WEST)

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