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Bubbles with your Bublé

From Downton to the Doctor, Rachel Cooke rounds up Christmas TV

For anyone foolhardy enough not to know by 20 December what they'll be cooking for Christmas lunch, this year's TV schedules will come as a real boon. Rick Stein's Spanish Christmas (BBC2, 21 December, 9pm), Lorraine's Last-Minute Christmas (BBC2, 22 December, 8pm), Nigel's Simple Christmas (BBCi, 21 December, 7.30pm), Raymond Blanc's Christmas Feast (BBC2, 23 December, 8pm) . . . On and on, the list of cookery programmes goes, the BBC's commissioning editors apparently having no idea how hard it is to book an Ocado delivery in late December, much less get one's hands on the last pack of jamón ibérico at Sainsbury's (we can take it for granted that none of these shows features a creative use of frozen peas, fish fingers or white slicedbread and that Lorraine Pascale, pretty as a picture in her "fun" Christmas sweater, is unlikely to recommend dashing to Iceland for abag of mixed vol-au-vents).

All that's missing is a pithy Michael Mosley medical investigation into indigestion. The BBC could have screened it at 5pm on Christmas Day, when no one in Britain is any less than 22 miles away from the nearest open chemist.

But enough with this Grinching! There is lots to watch on telly this Christmas, so long as you are selective: by which I mean you will give Young James Herriot (BBC1, 18 December, 9pm) - does what it says on the tin - a wide berth and ignore altogether Lapland (BBC1, Christmas Eve, iopm), a comedy drama starring Sue Johnston as a put-upon matriarch who wants to give her family - ugh! - the Christmas of a lifetime.

I will be kicking off with Rev (BBC2, 22 December, 9pm), in which Adam's father-in-law comes to stay. Forgive me if I repeat myself but I think Rev is the comedy of our time, touching and brave in equal measure. Top of my list thereafter is BBC1's heavenly sounding new adaptation of Great Expectations (27 December, 9pm), starring Gillian Anderson as Miss Havisham, Ray Winstone as Magwitch and Douglas Booth as Pip; a new version of Mary Norton's novel about tiny people The Borrowers (BBC1, Boxing Day, 7.30pm), childhood nostalgia triumphing over any trepidation I feel at the thought of the ubiquitous Stephen Fry playing Professor Mildeye; and Downton Abbey (ITVi, Christmas Day, 9pm), because the tree will be huge and there will roast pheasant and a suitably batty plotline for dinner.

You may want to watch Outnumbered (BBC1, Christmas Eve, g.sopm) but I will not be joiningyou. For one thing, it's sobloody irritating. For another, I am child-free and thus have no need to console myself with the sight of sprogs even less well behaved than my own.

What else? For those who miss Val Doonican - and who doesn't? - ITV1 is screening the schmaltz-fest Michael Bublé: Home for Christmas (18 December, 9pm). Special guest star: Gary Barlow. Let's hope there will also be chestnuts roasting over an open fire. Channel 5 has a new adaptation of Lew Wallace's epic novel of first-century Palestine, Ben Hur (28 December, 9pm), with Hugh Bonneville putting in a cameo as Pontius Pilate (this could be fun after three or four large Baileys). Channel 4 has a new sitcom, Felix and Murdo (28 December, io.35pm) by Simon Nye, starring Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller as Edwardian toffs, which has the potential to be hysterical; and Absolutely Fabulous returns to BBCi (Christmas Day, iopm), if you still feel up to jokes about Bolly, Issy and Mossy in these austere times. I'm not sure I do.

Finally, shows for those who worry about Christmas brain rot. I like the sound of The Art of the Night onBBC4 (21 December, 9pm), starring Waldemar Januszczak and paintings by Rembrandt, Hopper and others - and I will be unable to resist The Many Lovers of Jane Austen (BBC2, 23 December, 9pm), in which Amanda Vickery meets the fans (the bonnet-wearers of Texas sound like fun) ana Jane Austen: the Unseen Portrait (BBC2, Boxing Day, 9pm), in which Paula Byrne tries to discover whether she has found an unknown likeness of the novelist. University Challenge iuns on eight nights over the holidays on BBC2 (from 19 December, 7.30pm)- though rumours that Jeremy Paxman will front it with foam antlers on his head are sadly unfounded. Now, I think my work here is done. What's that? Doctor Who? Yes, of course it's on: Christmas Day at 7pm on BBC1. It's set in 1938, guest stars Clare Skinner and Alexander Armstrong and the doctor arrives by climbing down a chimney.